One of the most common questions I encounter is when is the most suitable age to potty train a toddler.
The right answer in my opinion is that there is no ‘suitable age’. Children are ready to potty train at different ages and there is no fixed timing when a parent should begin. The correct time is when the child shows signs of readiness and is enthusiastic to gain this independence and responds to small tests that you can do to assess readiness.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS READY TO POTTY TRAIN
Your child begins to have more dry nappies than soiled or wet ones
Your child may hide when they know they need to make stool, such as going behind the sofa or elsewhere
Exploring what is in their nappy. Such as taking a nappy off when they are in their cot after nap time
Your child’s bowel movements are regular and on a fairly regular schedule
Your child may want to watch you in the bathroom to see how it’s done
They may pass urine for a long time which shows they are holding more in their bladder and controlling it
Showing discomfort at a wet or dirty nappy and requesting you change the nappy quickly
Maybe knows or uses the word for stool or urine that you have been using, such as pee pee or poo.
Is frequently dry after nap time and may even request toilet after this
IS YOUR CHILD MATURE ENOUGH OR COGNITIVELY READY TO POTTY TRAIN
It’s not just the physical stages of readiness that we are looking for. Your child should be mature enough to handle some other simple cognitive steps in order to be able to grasp the concept of potty training. Your child needs certain co-ordinated behaviour to be able to carry out going to the toilet successfully otherwise they will simply become frustrated and disappointed
WHAT ARE THE COGNITIVE SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS READY TO POTTY TRAIN
Your child is showing signs of independence but also of co-operation with you
They are able to understand and associate the potty or toilet with going to the bathroom
They will follow your instructions or input without arguing or refusing
Your child can communicate their needs to you such as hunger, thirst, and perhaps some simple dressing techniques such as pulling up or down trousers
WHAT ARE THE TIMES TO AVOID POTTY TRAINING
Any major changes such as moving home or trying a new nursery etc
When your child is ill
When you are ill and can’t focus a couple of weeks full time on training
When your child is not showing signs of readiness
When you have a new baby coming or have just delivered
NLP TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL POTTY TRAINING
Use positive language
Give lots of encouragement even when the child fails- be supportive and not critical
Plant the seeds of independence and control indirectly. – for example – I think you are already an expert at going to the toilet so I’m not going to train you, you will can already do it by yourself
Don’t create a problem, look for a solution – for example having a portable potty close to hand that means you don’t have to panic and make it stressful
Give positive feedback all the time about how good your child is at potty training
TIPS FOR PREPARING AHEAD OF POTTY TRAINING
Use toilet language that you expect the child to copy and keep it regular and positive every time you change their nappy – e.g. you went to the toilet, lets get changed, or you made a poo, lets go and get changed
Be prepared with whatever you want to use, such as a potty or a step to use a toilet at home, wet wipes, training pants or pull ups etc
Set aside time to stay at home and make things fun and easy
Use positive potty training books, stories and examples such as putting teddy on the potty
Let your child lead you when they are ready
Create an association with hygiene and bathroom routines such as changing the nappy in the bathroom and washing hands even after changing nappy
Use dolly or teddy on the potty to show her that after potty we flush down the toilet. This will link in the toilet with potty as well
TIME TO GET STARTED POTTY TRAINING
Start off by introducing your child to the potty and leaving it around the house so your child can try it out even when you are not looking. Read books and discuss going to the toilet frequently.
Always try to encourage your child to sit on the potty when these 3 things occur:
- Your child wakes up from a nap time or night time sleep
- Your child has just had their nappy removed and is clean but not dressed yet
- Your child indicates that they want to go to the bathroom or looks like they are about to do something in their nappy
Get your child to sit on the potty whilst they go to the toilet in their nappy
The next step is to go without the nappy and sit on the potty
Model good bathroom behaviour – its ok to let your child see you used the toilet and flushed and washed your hands
Praise normally don’t overdo it so that your child feels they need to perform for you or that they will get too much attention. This is the age range where your child can use the control of their toilet needs as a method of controlling you.
Move on to trainer pants when your child is no longer doing too much of their stool and urine in the nappy
Accidents happen – don’t get upset or mad when your child has an accident, this will cause a negative effect and stop your child progressing and can even lead to health problems as they hold on to their bowel and bladder movements instead of letting them go
REMINDERS, DO’S AND DON’T’S OF POTTY TRAINING
Use correct language all the time
Don’t force or bribe your child to go on the potty
Don’t reward with sweets and too much praise, this is a natural step that the child will want to do willingly – you don’t want to make a big deal out of things
Do offer encouragement and support
Don’t start when you have no time to dedicate to being available for your child
Be consistent and don’t’ flip and change plans and equipment and methods this will confuse your child
Allow your child to have a break if they need it just keep encouraging and your child will tell you when they are ready
FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT POTTY TRAINING
Above all do not be intimidated and think potty training is a huge focus in your life and you have to get it right. Its’ a lot of trial and error and learning to be in tune with your child’s needs. As long as you take it easy, your child will train when they are ready. Remember all children are different and don’t compare your child’s story in a negative way with somebody else. It is a developmental stage all children go through and the less stressful you make the step towards potty training, the easier and more successful you will be.
If you think you need a one to one support or training session with Sharon get in touch via our contact us or subscribe pages. Sessions can take place by skype or in person depending on your needs.
